Let me lie to you, I'll be kind when I deceive you

Random thoughts

2009-03-31T19:01:00.000-07:00

I'm finding myself almost hoping for a semi catastrophy tomorrow. I'm extremely disappointed with the state of my life these days and this would add some spice to my every day boredom.

I get really irritated with people who don't properly capitalise.

The new Cursive is better than chocolate ice cream.

The other day I saw a woman walking towards me on the street and thought it was my aunt. Turns out it was a girl with Down's.

Lady Gaga is 12 minutes into her fifteen... Anyone remembers Rockbitch? Didn't think so either.

None, just because

2009-03-27T12:39:00.001-07:00

MacAfee is preventing me from visiting my own blog.

I'm too lazy to update it, I sure as hell am not going to start phishing people with it...

I think my IQ is going down exponentially each day...

2009-02-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

I'm currently reading "The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World" by A.J. Jacobs and I am totally jealous of that man, for so many reasons. Jacobs decided to read the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica, cover to cover (to cover to cover to cover), in a quest to accumulate as much knowledge as possible, and wrote a memoir about it.

First off, I would love to be able to afford the Encyclopaedia Britannica; unfortunately, I do not have $1200 available to purchase 33 volumes I'm not even sure I have enough space for. I don't even know where to put all the books I already have and the prospect of packing them up and moving them is panic-inducing enough as it is already without adding 140 lbs in one time.

Second, I wish I'd had that idea on my own. I love trivia and useless knowledge, but also learning about history, science or philosophy. I would say that about half of what I read is non-fiction, mostly history (I love American history, it is so rich, packed with action, perseverance and scandal) and true crime (am I living vicariously through these serial killers I'm reading about, or am I really only fascinated with forensics and excellent detective work - the reason I give people most of the times when I get asked about my growing interest in the subject). But I also spend a lot of time reading Wikipedia, clicking between articles and absorbing as much as possible. I love knowing and learning. It's not so much that I enjoy showing off, although a friend has taken to calling me Mini-wiki lately (<3), but I love feeling useful and relevant as a person every time I know the answer to question or problem.

And third, I also wish I'd had the idea to write a memoir about the experience. I used to write all the time. And unlike most people who go through a traumatic event in their lives and feel a surge of inspiration as a way to deal with their pain and anguish, I haven't been able to write something worth a damn since my mom passed away. I wish I still got ideas of topics to write about that are actually relevant and interesting. Or come up with a witty and funny story. His journey in the quest of becoming the smartest man in the world combined exactly that. Why couldn't I come up with it first?

I'm becoming dumber and dumber each day...

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you...

2009-01-31T06:56:00.000-08:00

Google won't let me go anywhere, not even their own site... *sigh*.

Can't sleep so might as well write

2009-01-29T21:02:00.001-08:00

(Not that I expect to make much sense).

This is what I worry about when I'm trying to fall asleep. No first draft. No editing. No spell check.

I'm sometimes so unabashedly unoriginal I'm afraid I'll disappear in the bottomless sea of average mediocrity.

Being just average and ordinary really scares me. I used to think that everyone strove to be original and stand out in a crowd, but I realize more and more that a lot of people are completely satisfied living a quiet, uncomplicated, uneventful, safe and smooth life. I used to think I'd have to fight my whole life through trying to be different than everybody else. Now I find that everybody else is trying to be exactly the same.

I can understand that always knowing what's coming up ahead must be very comforting. I sometimes envy those who have their whole future carefully planned out. But then I remember how suffocating I feel when I have just a couple of days all booked and thank my stars that I still allow myself to wake up in the morning not knowing what lays ahead.

I'm not saying I wish to become famous, come up with a revolutionary invention that will change the world forever, dazzle people with my (yet undiscovered) amazing skills or even become an undeserving local celebrity. Being known holds no appeal to me. I just refuse to become just like everybody else and blindingly accept a set of values, morals, political views, aspirations and other traits of personality just because they're considered normal.

Someone once asked one of my best friends in high school what kind of music they liked. Her answer was "Whatever Gabrielle's into." That scared me more than it annoyed me. Why would anyone want to be a mindless idiot who goes for everything the medias tell them to?

And I'm not a snob either. Hell, I like Garth Brooks. And the Bloodhound Gang, Ann Rice, Jacqueline Susann and Supernatural.

But I'm also pretty sure I know more about music, literature and cinema that 90% of the people I went to school with because I was never one to be satisfied with whatever was on heavy rotation on the radio or on the best sellers lists.

I always loved discovering new artists by looking up their influences, and then their influences' influences and so on all the way back to the source. I'll often pick up a book or a record only because I like the name or the cover (sometimes it does pay to judge a book by its cover) and find myself a new favorite band or author that way. But it always repels me to hear someone willingly admit that what they like is whatever's playing on the radio or being written about in Oprah Magazine. How can anyone be fulfilled with that? Don't they feel used by the industry when they go and buy what they're told to? How can they explain enjoying something not because of what they're feeling but choosing instead to validate that by looking at the charts? Art is like a lover. You can't fall in love with it just because everyone else does. That would be settling.

I don't mind being singled out because of my choices. I fully assume them and recognize that human beings are inherently curious when it comes to difference. I do enjoy being asked questions and conversing with people although I'm more of a listener and observer.

I don't aim to be a freak or an oddity. People passing me by on the street might not even realize I'm different than them. And I wouldn't care. But I would know, deep down, that I made my own educated choices. And the people I will meet, talk to, laugh with, live with, love with and die with will, too. And those are the only important people.

In another life

2009-01-21T17:48:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I wish I had girlier girlfriends so we could paint each other's toenails, gossip about boys and gleefully pig out on Ben & Jerry's. Then I realise I would probably kill myself.

I'll stick to getting my hair cut while watching Barbra Streisand give head.

You had to be there moment #1

2009-01-14T17:41:00.000-08:00

yourstruly (8:39:36 PM): ill let you know what i think of the band
yourstruly (8:39:46 PM): hell, ill write a blog about it or something

otherperson (8:39:47 PM): maybe you should review the Hold Steady albums on that blog of yours

otherperson (8:39:51 PM): hahahaha

yourstruly (8:39:51 PM): hahaha

otherperson (8:39:52 PM): there ya go

yourstruly (8:39:54 PM): there you go

yourstruly (8:39:58 PM): STOP READING MY MIND

So yeah, tomorrow, my first impressions on what might become my new favourite band...

2009-01-13T07:43:00.000-08:00

I was almost tempty to throw this question... Wonder what the penalty would have been? Require me to have a "Wheelchair chasing maniac" sticker on my windshield at all times?

PSA (Personal Service Announcement) #1

2009-01-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

Next time, make sure you're awake before you text. It will save you much hair pulling, sinking feeling, and wall kicking.